I've been asking myself like thousand hundred time to make this decision therefore my life would be easier. I was answering myself about all questions that spin around my head and it's simple; I decided to become teacher. Yet, I can't decide. I can't decide where should I continue and which one; EC Studies or Psychology? At this moment, I feel like I want to be a character in a book or drama that when I wake up in the morning I feel confident about my decision. However, this is a real life. So, I should face it!
Back to reality, after 2 years and 4 months(almost there!), I feel saturated to end this diploma. It's like, 'GOSH! It's finish! YEAYYYY!' and five seconds later 'Yes, it's finish but it's not over yet.' C'mon! I just finish my diploma and I satisfy? No.
Hmm. I have several options in my head which are:
1) Take 1 year break.
2) Continue with EC studies
3) Be brave! Take opportunity to learn psychology
If you have those options, which one will you choose? Currently, I really want to choose option 1. Take 1 year break and start teaching. But if I think about it again, my choice will be option number 3. Then, if I scared enough to face it, I will choose option 2.
Well, maybe this is when I am in identity confusion stage; Erik Erikson's theory: Identity Vs Role Confusion. I am asking a lot to myself "Who am I?" , "Where should I go?", "How can I fit in?", "How can I satisfy my parents and myself?", and so on and so on. Many people said, identity confusion comes when there is pressure from family, especially parents. Well, that's not happening to me. My father said he always support me and never push me to choose what he wants me to do. He ever attempted that and it failed, that's why I guess he did not want to push me again. Is it because only me? I can see all my friends do not have the confusion as I have, this makes me personally more upset to myself. all of them know where to go, how to go and what they want to be. ARGH!
Actually, the solution is simply enough. Have faith and be consistent! Unfortunately, I can't be consistent. I 'might be' sure to be a teacher but I am not sure on how I should be a teacher.
What should I do now? Tawakal. #EndOfStory
RasulAllah (PBUH) said:
".....Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you.
Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you.
If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah......"
(Termithi)
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